The beauty of a great experience is how we face and learn from it. Whatever has made us feel disappointed or even fail, has certainly given opportunities which, sometimes, we may have otherwise not seen. So, with some effort and reflection, you will certainly be able to see different angles to the same event. By doing that, we should really consider that “I never lose. I either win or learn.”
Dealing with loss is manageable. When we lose something or someone, behind all the pain, bewilderment, and pride there is a lesson that will heal us all on its own. The understanding of the loss is linked to our ego’s arbitrary interpretations of it. Depending on how we relate to ourselves, we will either see the loss as bad luck or fate or as a situation that we can learn from as we go through it.
Losing is something every athlete hates more than anything. Losing to a team you know you can beat is painful. Losing to learn a lesson is sometimes exactly what you need. Failure is never a loss, but an opportunity to learn.
The only purpose that this word can ever serve is to demean or belittle someone.
And well, we have used it incessantly, at one point of time or the other, for ourselves or someone else… and intentionally or unintentionally labeled a win or a loss!
But between those blacks and whites of wins and losses was a grey area that never got attention. Probably because we were never taught to look at one! Between the white of win and the black of loss, is the area of learning!
So what if you did not get through that exam or your marks did not reach ‘your mark’? Does it end your world!? Is there nothing useful that comes out of it!?
With the rising number of suicides and the recent case of murders in schools, I feel we have a serious-serious need to help our children explore this non-ventured zone!
Let them know it is okay to fail! (Because marathons may have a few stumbles or fall as long as you get back up and keep running!)
Let them be confident in their own skin! Comparisons can be lethal! So it is best to help a child explore their strengths and bring the best out of them! (We can’t teach a fish to fly, no matter how hard we try!)
Teenagers are caught up in a struggle between childhood and life beyond! Speak to them! Support their decisions, even when they fail! A casual ‘I told you so’ will help but trying to control their lives is not the best idea!! (So you might know what’s best for them, but remember, you have the responsibility of bringing up a future adult, well equipped with making their own decisions!)
The bounce back is always more crucial than the setback. It is not the fall that is important but the time after that. So how a child copes up with it and learns to get back on track is what makes the real difference. Be their guiding light!
Be friends with them but let them have their own circle!
It is a sorry state of the situation for such kids because they are missing out on such wonderful experiences that friendship has to offer. They are missing out on learning virtues like loyalty, trust, patience, tolerance, prudence, and justice. So remember, it is as important to experience dejection, as a triumph! The only thing being consistent with either is PROGRESSION!
God does not judge anyone. We are our worst judges. When we learn that how we feel vibrates through the system because of how others have made us feel, we truly understand then how to see through it, all of it!
Be yourself and follow your heart even if it isn't agreeable to others. You will either be looked over or change the world.
To do that, start by considering a famous quote from Nelson Mandela, the late great leader and revolutionary who said: "I never lose. I either win or I learn." Mandela had made it his mission to battle against racial segregation in his home country of South Africa during apartheid--and was badly beaten and thrown in jail for 27 years for his efforts. But despite those massive setbacks, Mandela always knew where he was going and what he wanted to accomplish. Eventually, he prevailed when he helped lead the efforts to defeat apartheid while becoming the first black president of South Africa.
What makes Nelson Mandela's quote so powerful is to consider that even when he faced years behind bars or the brutality of a physical attack, he saw that as an opportunity to learn and, ultimately, to find a way to win.
There is a famous story along the lines that involves Johnson & Johnson, the medical and consumer good giant that was founded all the way back in 1886. In more recent times, there was a divisional president who saw an opportunity to launch a new product line; something he invested millions of dollars of the company's money in. But the idea proved to be a total bust.
As you can imagine, that president soon got word that J&J's CEO wanted to see him. So the president dutifully reported to the meeting with his head down, knowing what the meeting was going to be about. After the initial small talk died down, the president said to his CEO: "So I guess you will want to fire me now." But the CEO laughed instead. "I just spent millions of dollars training you," he said to the president. "Why would I fire you now?"
How many business leaders do you think would have that same perspective on a situation? Perhaps that's why J&J continues to be a successful company some 130 years after it got its start.
The takeaway for us is that when it comes to dealing with failure we should not think of it as some kind of loss but instead, turn it into a learning opportunity. The question we must ask is, "what did I learn?" If we can do that consistently, we shall win out big time over the long run.
Learn in all you do, win or fail. Win, you will sharpen that! Fail, you will learn from that. But if you keep your heart through it all, you will definitely conquer your destination one day!
Dr.Vikash Agarwal
edited by: Kshitij Agarwal
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